The Woman in Red Read online

  Ruthie smiled slightly. “It’s all right. We are not married, in the traditional sense.” She looked at me, blushing slightly. “Most of us aren’t married. It’s just easier to refer to ourselves as such.”

  “I feel as if everyone knows about me, but what about you? How did you find yourself here? If you don’t mind me being so forward.”

  Ruthie shrugged. “There isn’t much to tell. I was a servant for the Gonçalves family. Then John arrived and, well, that was that.”

  “The family you served just let you go?”

  “I’m not a slave.” She giggled. “I asked for my leave and they granted it. They knew I wanted to be with John, and Senhora Gonçalves wanted me to be happy.” Ruthie smiled; it was pleasant, hinting at some future dream. “Well, here we are at your tent. I should go hang these,” she said, motioning to her basket before walking away.

  Life with the Farrapos was going to be an adjustment. Their sense of morality was different from everything I had been taught, yet so much remained the same. Once a woman was shamed, she was ostracized, but their idea of a shamed woman was far different from what I experienced in town. A woman’s station was based on her partner’s position within the navy. Griggs was second-in-command to José, therefore everyone respected Ruthie. I was José’s woman, which meant that I was afforded even more respect. These putas, though, they were outliers. They weren’t associated with any one man. The officers called them maggots because they seemed to appear out of nowhere and scavenged for whatever they could.

  A few evenings later I sulked in front of the campfire by myself while everyone else seemed too busy to notice me. The smell of roasted meats drifted on the light breeze, along with bits and pieces of their conversations. I looked over to José, a few feet away sipping his mate. He was surrounded by a group of mostly women who hopped around him like attention-starved puppies.

  The tall one wore a bodice that was tied extra tight, making her bust look like a small table strapped to her chest, which she seemed to push out to José at every opportunity. Another painted lady was squat and round, reminding me of a frog, complete with a large wart that seemed to have a life separate from its host on her humped back, just above her dress collar. A few sailors circled the group as well, looking eager to get their master’s scraps.

  I felt the sting of jealousy spread in my stomach, only to be suppressed by the chest-crushing doubt that seeped down from my shoulders. José had yet to come to me for his dinner, which I had taken over making from his servants. I stabbed a small potato with my fork. Had I made the right decision? Did José mean everything that he said?

  “I wouldn’t worry about them.” A man’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

  Surprised, I looked up to see Griggs smiling down at me. “May I?” He motioned toward the log next to me. When I nodded yes, he sat down. “José is a leader. He has to be that handsome friendly face. Who wants to follow an ugly man into battle?”

  I couldn’t help but smile despite myself. Griggs took it as a cue to continue. “You see, it’s always the ugly ones who get labeled as crazy or as failures. If someone has to put their life on the line, they want it to be for someone who looks like victory personified. They want someone who looks like our José.” Griggs playfully bumped me with his shoulder. “However, I have it on good authority that you are José’s most treasured friend.”

  I could feel a smile forming, betraying my cool demeanor. José’s second-in-command pointed at me. “There it is. I knew I could get your real smile.”

  I nodded in agreement. “Yes, yes you did.”

  “I, by the way, am an expert when it comes to reading people. Take José, for example: I know how to tell his false smile from his real smile. See, watch.” He pointed his fork at the tall woman leaning her heaving breasts toward José as she tilted her head and spoke to him, batting her eyelashes the whole time. “You see she just told him that she has a very large…er…dowry. Oh, now look, see that smile, right there? The corners of his mouth go straight out toward his ears.” Griggs popped some chicken into his mouth and quickly chewed, swallowing it with a gulp. “You see, when José smiles, truly smiles, the corners of his mouth go up toward his eyes.”

  “You must really know José.”

  Griggs shrugged. “I only know what I see, and what I see is that José only truly smiles when you are around.” He slapped his leg. “Now you. What’s that one saying?”

  I looked to where Griggs’s gaze led. Frog Girl was making her attempt to flatter José. She pushed the tall girl out of the way and giggled so loudly that the whole camp could hear her. “She’s telling José that she makes the best quindim in all Santa Catarina. What she doesn’t know is that José hates coconut.” As soon as I said the words, a false smile broke across his face.

  “What’s quindim?” Griggs asked.

  “It’s a dessert made with egg yolk, sugar, and coconut. My friend’s mother, Dylla, made it for us once. José’s face turned the most awful shade of green as he tried to swallow it down.”

  The memory of José’s face as he tried to eat the food without gagging made me start to laugh all over again. “When he finally managed to get it down, he complimented Dylla. She was so pleased that the Great Garibaldi liked it, she tried to give him more. He looked horrified, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Griggs and I broke into uncontrollable laughter.

  We were too busy laughing to notice that José had walked up to us. “And what has gotten you two into such a fit?”

  I tried to stifle the laughter that bubbled out of my chest. It was working until Griggs said in a shaky voice, “The finer points of coconut.”

  I couldn’t hold the laughter in anymore as I bent forward, giving in to it, fat tears rolling down my cheeks. José looked stone-faced as Griggs and I carried on laughing.

  “I take it my food is by our tent?” José asked.

  “Yes,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “I will be there shortly.” I regained my composure and looked at Griggs. “Thank you.”

  “Anytime, ma’am,” he said with a smile. As I walked away, I heard him call, “Does anyone know where I can find some coconut?”

  Nine

  October 1839

  Word reached us that the Imperial navy was going to begin a campaign against the shores of Santa Catarina, moving toward Rio Grande do Sul. The legion received orders to sail out and patrol the waters off the coast of Laguna. It was to be an expedition that lasted weeks. The night before we left, I was rushing around the tent preparing for our departure when José walked in, his attention focused on a paper that he was reading. He stopped short, looking up at me.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, looking both confused and horrified.

  “Packing. Oh, and look, I made a pair of breeches just for the occasion.” I turned around in a circle so that he could get a full view of me. I had taken an old pair of pants that José no longer wore and tailored them down so that they would fit me. They were still a little loose in the thighs, and I’d had to sew a red patch by the knee that stood out in stark contrast to the faded black of the pants.

  “I see, but I want to know why.”

  “Because we are leaving tomorrow.” I laughed as I continued my work.

  “We aren’t leaving tomorrow. I am leaving. You are staying here with the rest of the women.”

  “No, I am not.” I rounded on him.

  “Anita, a ship is no place for a woman.”

  “Tell me, do I look like a slave?” My eyes narrowed as I slowly walked toward him.

  “No.” He took a step back.

  “No. Hm, do I look like a cow?”

  “Now, Anita—”

  “José, I am not your property. I will go where I want, and I want to go with you.”

  “It’s too dangerous,” José said, pleading with me.

  “Oh, so I look fragile to you.”

  “That’s not what I said.”

  “I’m a weak woman who can’t manage on a ship. Is t
hat it? Goodness, I am lucky I have you around. I don’t know how I managed to live eighteen years on my own.”

  “Will you stop putting words in my mouth?” José threw the papers he had been carrying to the ground. “You are not a sailor. You don’t know two things about the ship, let alone fighting.”

  “What is there to know about fighting? I have used a gun. There is no difference between shooting a man and shooting an animal.”

  “You have no place on a ship!”

  “My place is wherever you are. If you are on that ship, then so am I.” I crossed my arms. “I will not sit by and patiently wait for you while you go off and play war. I chose this life, danger and all, when I chose you. I am not some toy that you can put on a shelf and play with only when it suits you. I will not be one of those women.”

  “I can’t have you on the ship with me. When I am there my priority has to be those men. I can’t take care of them when all I am doing is thinking about your safety.” He reached out for me. “Tesoro mio, per favore.”

  I pulled away from him. “I am not your treasure.”

  “Anita, you can be killed. Even if we are just patrolling the waters. The ship is a dangerous place, especially for a woman.”

  “Do you honestly think I fear death? The one thing that has been my constant companion since I was a child?” I shook my head. “What I fear is being left here alone. Can’t you see that? Without you I have nothing.”

  José opened his mouth to speak, but I stopped him. “Tell me, what happens to me if you die?”

  “I won’t die,” he said.

  “You said it yourself: The ship is dangerous. I have worked in the hospital long enough to know that even the most skilled soldier can become one of my patients. Now answer my question. What happens to me if you die?”

  His shoulders sagged. “You go on living, I guess.” His voice came out meek and small.

  “Oh, I go on living all right, but what kind of life will that be? My family has disowned me. I am a disgraced woman, José.” He looked away from me. “Look at me. This is what I am to these people. I am not ashamed. I have made my choices, but if I stay here and you die, I have no way to take care of myself.”

  “Anita, you are exaggerating—”

  “Am I? I have no family, no one to take me in. What shall I do for work, since no one wants to be around me? Do you think my husband will take me back, if he ever returns?” José turned his head from me, his face suddenly pale. I reached out to him. “I would rather die a thousand deaths than live one life without you.”

  He put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me. “You mean everything to me. I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”

  “If you don’t let me go with you on your ship, I’ll sneak onto Griggs’s.”

  “Anita, you will do no such thing. John Griggs is an officer in my navy. You can’t go running to him every time you don’t like something.” He fumed.

  “I will find a way. I’ve heard of women who dress like men in order to fight. I can do that, you’ll never know I was there.” I poked his chest. Immediately he grabbed my hand and held it away.

  “This isn’t a game, Anita.” Blotches of red appeared on his face. “You won’t be chasing cows in the middle of a field.”

  I pulled my hand away. “Don’t insult me. Mark my words, José Garibaldi, I will be on one of those ships, and your only choice is whether it’s your ship or someone else’s.” I crossed my arms in defiance. “If you really wanted to keep me safe, you would have me on your ship with you.”

  José wiped a tired hand over his face. “Very well…you can come. But I need you to promise that every order I give you, you will obey. No questions asked.”

  I jumped with glee, wrapping my arms around his neck. I went to kiss him, but he stopped me, awaiting a response. “I promise.” I smiled.

  The next afternoon, we went out to the docks together to prepare for the expedition. As the only woman there, I received curious looks from the men as they rushed past us in the hot afternoon sun, loading crates onto the ships. Rossetti shoved the cargo list he was checking into the chest of a sailor next to him when he saw us approach. He rushed up to José with his fists clenched. “Please tell me that what they are saying isn’t true.”

  José’s body went rigid. “Anita will be my responsibility.”

  “Jesus Christ, José, what are you thinking?” Rossetti crossed himself. “This is no place for a woman.”

  “I am the captain and what I say goes. You don’t have to worry about her.”

  “But I have to worry about you losing your head!”

  “Why must you question everything I do?” José asked through clenched teeth.

  “Gualeguay,” Rossetti said, moving closer so that his nose was only inches away from José’s.

  “What happened in Gualeguay has nothing to do with this.” José’s fists clenched at his sides.

  “I seem to remember you losing your head in a very similar manner,” Rossetti responded. “If it weren’t for me questioning you, we would both be in a prison right now.”

  José let out a flurry of words in Italian. I could see a muscle clench in Rossetti’s jaw. “Get a hold of yourself, man, she is only a woman,” Rossetti hissed.

  “Stand down.” José growled. The men glared at each other.

  I wasn’t sure what to do until I felt a tug at my elbow. “How about you come with me.” I turned to find Griggs at my side, pulling me away.

  He linked his arm with mine and led me to José’s ship. “I wouldn’t pay them any mind,” Griggs said, patting my arm. “One minute they are closer than brothers, the next they are at each other’s throats. I am surprised Rossetti hasn’t run José through yet.”

  José’s ship, the Rio Pardo, was a hive of activity as the sailors prepared her to set out for our mission. I watched in awe as men scurried up the ropes, disappearing behind the sails. “What are they doing?” I asked.

  “Tying off the gaskets. Without doing that, the ship won’t be able to move.” He clapped his hands. “All right, first off, we are going to teach you how to tie the ropes up properly. When we begin to weigh anchor, we need to have ropes prepped so the men can direct the ship. Whenever we aren’t using the ropes they need to be wrapped up, but not just in any old way. A tidy ship is a safe ship. In this case, we wrap these ropes like this. I don’t want to come aboard your ship and see a single thing out of place.”

  He expertly wrapped the rope around the belay pin, then unwrapped it. “Your turn.”

  I grabbed the rope and copied the movements he’d made.

  “Fantastic!” He clapped my shoulder. “We’ll make a little renegade out of you yet!”

  He continued giving me lessons until José boarded the ship. José nodded tersely to John and then kissed me roughly on the head before heading to the helm.

  “And that is the first command to prepare to set sail. Take a spot over there.” Griggs pointed off to the side of the helm. “For now, sit and watch and learn. Watch what these sailors do: If they spit, you spit. Do what they do, exactly how they do it. Everything you see around you has a purpose. Learn from them. I’ll see you soon, little renegade.” He tipped his hat to me and left the ship as our sailors prepared to weigh anchor.

  Ten

  The war for independence raged to the north of us. The Imperial government wanted to squash this rebellion as quickly and as efficiently as possible; with two states rebelling, they were worried that more would follow suit. Larger, more impressive ships than ours were moving down the coast in an attempt to intimidate the people. It was our job to make sure that they did not reach any Farrapo-controlled port.

  We didn’t want word to get out that we were leaving, so we worked quietly and quickly during the day, then stole out of the harbor under the cover of night. It was imperative that no one know about our mission to patrol the rebel-controlled waters off the coast of Santa Catarina and Rio Grande do Sul. If we could cut off the Imperial ships, our harbors s
tood a chance.

  I closed my eyes and reveled in the smell of the brisk ocean air that stung my cheeks and nose. The cold didn’t bother me; it felt electrifying, like I was on the cusp of some grand adventure.

  I sat up through the night, watching the sailors work until large patches of pink and gold splashed across the sky as the sun rose above the horizon. Light reflected off the water, making it hard to tell where it ended and the sky began. I pulled my shawl in closer to me as I sat in awe of the new world that surrounded me. I had never been this far away from home. Never this far from land, for that matter. This world was so much bigger than my little port in Brazil. I needed to see all of it. If only my family understood…but they chose their way, and I wasn’t going to let anyone hold me back from this. Never again.

  José eased down next to me, silently slipping a hand around my waist. Together we watched as the sun finished making its ascension. Content we had seen all of the sunrise, José pulled me by the hand, leading me to our cabin.

  When we were finally by ourselves, we gratefully sank into the comfort of our tiny bed. José let out a heavy sigh as he rolled over to face me. My fingers traced the long scar that ran along his neck, a reminder of the time he was shot protecting his crew in Uruguay.

  “I’m sorry I made you and Rossetti fight,” I whispered. We lay in silence, listening to the creaks of the ship and the men moving about their business. “Do you regret—”

  José sat up on his elbow. “I regret nothing.” He kissed my forehead. “If Rossetti and I didn’t fight about something I would think that he was ill. Now get some sleep. The life of a sailor is all the more tiring if you haven’t had any rest.”

  I spent the next few days learning whatever I could from anyone who was willing to teach me, whether it was to haul up the mainsail or to brace forward. Many of the men were still hesitant to have me on the ship, but they were respectful out of their loyalty to José. After his disastrous experience with the cook who didn’t know how to fight, he’d refused to hire another cook for his ship. A number of the men took turns cooking for the crew. Knowing that this was something that I could easily help with, I worked myself into the rotation. I hadn’t told José, who was pleasantly surprised one day to find me in his galley serving our men. I handed him his bowl of stewed meat and rice with pride.